The Reflection

(My first attempt at a short story. We were given a cue and had to take it from there, with the encouragement to keep it real. So I did what I do best and wrote what I know, what I feel, and from the heart. It needs a bit of work, but it will do for now)

Twilight, that elusive point in time, where everything seems to stand still and the world seems unsure if it is day or night. All the hues that had been the sunset blended into one as they faded, greens became blues, then reds and pinks, even purples made a brief appearance. This was the time of day, where the shadows begin to grow, only adding to the eerie ambiance. It was at this exact moment that I chose to stumble across that open door.

It had always astounded me, how one random moment in time could change your life, and alter the path you took. “Everything happens for a reason,” he always said. As I paused at that door, silently chastising myself for not bringing that damn map, I began to think that there was perhaps some truth in the words he so often uttered.

The decision to take this little holiday had been made at the spur of the moment. It had been a little over two years since I’d seen Jules in person. The fact that life had once again decided to throw me into a downward spiral of heartache, seemed like a good enough excuse to find comfort in my best friends company. Jules had made an attempt to stay home from work that day, but having always been the more stubborn of the two, I insisted she go about her day as usual. Of course, the bribery of cheap wine and chocolate that night may have sealed the deal. That was how I managed to find myself lost, bags in hand, in an unfamiliar town, down a quickly darkening back street, standing beside a secluded open door. However, there was one thing that had an air of familiarity, and that was the voice emanating from inside.

Having always been little miss practical, I thought perhaps whoever was inside could offer me directions or had a phone I could use, seeing as “Murphy” had decided to throw me another curve ball, a dead cell phone battery. As I took that initial first step over the doors threshold, a firm statement was thrown in my direction, “It’s time to let go!” That tone within the voice, the pronunciation, everything that echoed within the sound was familiar. I closed my eyes for a moment, my head tilting a little to the right as I tried to place it. Quickly I shook my head, denouncing the thought that I knew the person lurking inside as ridiculous. I didn’t know anyone else in this town besides Jules, and it was that logical thought that I went with as my own voice sounded, “Hello? Is there anyone here? I’m lost and need some help.” Soft nervous laughter accompanied my words as I finished calling out.

My eyes slowly scanned the dimly lit room as I stepped further inside, and as I replayed the previous few moments in my head, the realisation set in; I did recognise the voice. “Don’t be stupid,” silently chiding myself as I moved further within the confines of the room. My gaze began to adjust to the lack of lighting, allowing me to finally catch sight of the owner of the voice. A harsh gasp sounded as I sucked in a sharp mouthful of air. My mind was reeling as I tried to process what was happening, what I was seeing. A look of utter confusion reigned on my face, shaking my head firmly as I tried to rationalise it all; but that face, those eyes and lips, that hair, even the way they dressed. It couldn’t be though, someone was playing a trick, that was the only logical explanation. “Very BLOODY funny, ha ha. You can come out Now!”, yelling out into the silent room. However, there was no laughter to back up my theory of a practical joke, only her staring back at me with an all familiar smirk and a tilt of her head sideways. There was no trickery of mirrors as I had first assumed, I was standing there staring at myself. But How? Jesus, what the hell was going on!

Once again her voice sounded, whispering at me harshly, “It’s time to let go!”
“NO!”, my own voice screamed back, “I can’t!” The tears began to well up as I knew instantly what, or more to the point, who she spoke of.
“If you let go, it will be alright. You simply have to trust.”
“No, No, NO! I can’t do that. If I do I will loose everything, I’ll lose him forever.” My head shook back and forth emphatically as the tears began to fall freely. This was absolutely insane, I was being given advice by my doppelganger. But it was real enough when her softening voice filled with sympathy when she spoke once again, “Sometimes you have to let go, in order to gain.”

My arms wrapped around myself tightly, as the silent sobs racked my body. I knew what words were going to come next, but it was not her barely audible voice that uttered them. I spun on my heel quickly to face him, deep crease lines forming a frown as I tried to comprehend just what was going on. It was becoming like a scene from a bad episode of the twilight zone. Fire burned in my eyes as I faced him, my own voice escaping once again, laced with tears and pain, “Don’t even say it. Heartache shouldn’t be included in that bullshit you believe!” I spat the words out at him viciously, only for them to be greeted by a quiet smile from him and his own simple words, “Everything happens for a reason, Angel.”

I tried to scream at him to shut up, to argue with him that if it was true, why was my heart in broken and tattered pieces, what was the great reason for that! I wanted him to explain to me why the pain I was feeling was happening for a reason. But before I could rant, rave and grieve at him, everything went black. A complete blackout filled with a haunting silence. She had disappeared, he had evaporated into the oblivion that now surrounded me. Suddenly I felt like I was being hurtled into the darkness, free falling and feeling like I was trapped in a tumble dryer, before everything suddenly came to a gut wrenching, grinding halt. I lay there for a moment, attempting to gain my breath, waiting for the whole of me to catch up. I took the time to work my way through the disorientation that I found myself snared within. Slowly everything began to make sense with a creeping realisation setting in. My hand slinked its way across the bed, patting the space beside me. But, of course he was not there. I finally began to understand that it had all been a dream. Once again, the tears flared up, beginning to sob uncontrollably, real tears this time soaking my cheeks and pillow, as I realised I had woken up from the wrong nightmare.

Written by
Lyla Arthurs

June 2007